


My Own Fate

by meteor_city_junkrat



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But probably not soon, Childhood Trauma, Chrollo is a controlling bastard, Chrollo is not hot, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Feitan tortures people, First Fanfiction, Hisoka is not a pedo, Hisoka is sexy, Hisoka's a pretty cool guy, Kira is basically Gen Z, M/M, Mental Instability, Multi, OC is overpowered in a good way, Pedos aren't cool, Psychological Trauma, She's very funny, Updates every 2-3 days, feitan is kind of a dick, hisoka x OC, hxh - Freeform, there might be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meteor_city_junkrat/pseuds/meteor_city_junkrat
Summary: Kira was always docile. Ever since Chrollo kidnapped her from the Kurta Clan after sensing her massive potential in Nen and trained her to be a weapon. But that was before she met Hisoka and decided that she was in control of her fate. From battling her mental illness to battling Nen users, Kira's story begins now.
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter)/Original Character(s), Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Machi (Hunter X Hunter), Illumi x oc
Kudos: 5





	1. Magician x and x Master

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hello everyone! This is my first fanfiction here on Wattpad, I hope you enjoy it! If you have any tips for writing or criticisms, feel free to share in the comments! Enjoy!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is everyone here?" Chrollo's smooth voice broke the silence in the room. The troupe had just been called together for a meeting, and it seemed like they were just waiting on Uvogin. Kira looked around nervously for any sign of anger from the present members.

"How typical for Uvo to be late~" Hisoka sighed. He seemed tired and bored, as though he was a child being chided by his parent. Kira found this quite funny, though she didn't show any expression on her face.   
"How could a grown man be so amusing to watch?" she thought to herself. Hisoka was the new Troupe recruit after he had beaten his predecessor. Kira couldn't understand him, though some of his goals were clear. To fight Chrollo. She tensed up slightly as he stood up from where he was sitting and began to walk slowly towards her and Chrollo.

"Hey Chrollo, how long were you planning on keeping this little one a secret? She looks very promising~" he remarked with a smirk.  
"Little one?! I'm 18, for your information, Old Man." she hissed back at him. He seemed a bit excited at her remark. Creepy. But Kira didn't take insults from anyone except Chrollo and Feitan. So calling her "Little one" just because she is short was out of pocket. After all, she was only 5"2'!

"Kira, quiet." Kira froze. Chrollo diverted his attention to Hisoka, menacingly stating, "I wasn't hiding her, she just isn't your business. If I would hide her from anyone, it would be you, you child loving clown." Hisoka didn't retort, but he did give a displeased frown. Clearly, he disliked being called a clown, even though he dressed like one. Whatever. Kira turned back to face Chrollo, who had apparently been staring at her since the magician acknowledged her. She knew what he meant right away. Don't stand out. As Kira shrunk back into the shadows of their meeting room, Uvogin arrived.

"Finally." she heard the magician mutter. For once, she agreed with him, seeing as Uvo had been two hours late to the meeting. She looked at the members, recalling their names. First, there was Pakunoda, her favorite member. Paku always treated her like a younger sister and was always pretty nice to Kira. She wore a maroon two-piece suit this time, different from her usual purple one, and had her hair in a small bun. Pretty. Then there was Machi, her second favorite Phantom Troupe member. As usual, she wore her hair in a large ponytail and donned her signature short kimono. Machi was strict sometimes when it came to Kira's nen training, but most of the time she was fairly kind. The rest of the Troupe was also here. Shalnark, Kortopi, Bonolenov, Franklin, Phinks, Uvo, Shizuku, Nobunaga, and Feitan were seated across the room. Kira didn't like Feitan. He was never kind and only showed her pain. She shook the thought off as the meeting began.

The head had called the meeting to discuss their next heist. It was a large scale operation, stealing all the items up for sale in an underground auction in York New City. Kira didn't pay attention that much and was focusing on the sly magician instead. He wasn't listening as well and started building a card tower. Guess some things don't change about people. After the captain was done briefing them on the upcoming mission, Hisoka spoke up.

"I'm actually going to be taking the hunter exam this year~ That's fine, right? Captain~"  
Kira's ears perked up. The hunter exam? Wasn't that supposed to be notoriously difficult to pass? She knew it would probably be a piece of cake for her, but she still wanted to try it. After mustering up her courage, she spoke. It was barely audible, but the room was quiet enough for the troupe to hear.

"May I join him?"

She almost instantly regretted speaking up, she knew her guardians would say no. Kira shut her eyes and tried to make herself smaller, anticipating being hit for speaking out. When she noticed she hadn't been struck yet, she peeked out, surprised by the captain's reaction to her question. He was....actually contemplating it? Kira stood up and straightened herself out. She closely observed Chrollo and Feitans' faces, gauging how badly she would be punished later. Surely the only reason she hadn't been lashed out at yet was that they didn't want to do it in front of the troupe members? Kira didn't have to observe long, since Feitan began to speak.

"Captain, I don't think it's wise to let her go. Especially with him." he shot Hisoka a glare. "I don't trust him yet, he'll probably try to kill her while taking the test." Feitan's words were filled with venom. But it wasn't up to him to decide. There was a long silence in the room. The commotion had piqued the interest of the other troupe members, who watched silently in expectation. Machi decided to speak.

"Why not? She can protect herself from him well enough, and you know for yourself how loyal she is to the troupe. It'll be a good learning experience for her." she interjected with a serious tone. "Besides, we could use this opportunity to get information on future hunters. Nobody besides us has seen her yet, so she'd be perfect for it." She said with a shrug. Machi brought up some good points. Feitan looked annoyed that she said something in Kira's defense. Kira glanced back at Chrollo with hopeful eyes. Then he shared his decision.

"Sure, you may attend the exam. However, Hisoka will have custody of you until the next meeting. You must also bring back any information you can." He looked at Hisoka with an intimidating glare, "I trust you won't do anything to her in the meantime." It was decided. Though Feitan was unhappy with Chrollo's decision, he couldn't change it. The head's decisions were absolute. Kira looked over at the magician with an excited stare. He looked happy, but not in the same way she was. There was a wilder aspect to his gaze, something Kira couldn't put a finger on. She tried to ignore it for the time being.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hisoka's POV  
Hisoka expected this meeting to be just another dull briefing. To his delight, it was quite the opposite. At the beginning of the meeting, he noticed a lean young girl crouching behind where Chrollo was seated. He had been looking at Chrollo and only noticed her due to her position. She had been using zetsu the entire meeting. This triggered many questions in Hisoka's mind. How skilled was she for him not to have noticed her before? Had she been to previous meetings? Why did she look afraid? He brushed off the thoughts and decided to observe her instead of the captain. She could become another one of his toys if she was skilled enough. If not, he could always just kill her.

She had silvery-white hair, a short but muscular physique, and piercing crimson eyes. Wait. Crimson eyes? He remembered an old story Feitan had told him about the Spiders massacring a clan that had crimson eyes when in heightened states of emotion. What were they called again? He knew it started with a k. Karta? Kerti? Oh, right! The Kurta Clan! Could she possibly have been one of them? Hisoka was lost in thought when the girl shifted slightly. He snapped back to reality. The captain asked if everyone was here. Hisoka noticed the girl look around the room nervously.

"How typical for Uvo to be late~" He sighed. He was getting a bit drowsy since they had been waiting on him for hours. He thought up some entertainment. The magician stood and began walking towards the girl.

"Hey Chrollo, how long were you planning on keeping this little one a secret? She looks very promising~" he said teasingly with a smirk. He wanted to get any sort of reaction out of the brunet. To his surprise, it was the young girl that retorted.

"Little one?! I'm 18, for your information, Old Man." She said defensively. Not what he expected, but he did enjoy seeing the annoyance in her eyes.

"Kira, quiet," Chrollo said controllingly. So her name was Kira. Instantly the girl became still and silent. That was strange, usually, girls her age were a bit more.. enthusiastic. Chrollo turned to him. "I wasn't hiding her, she just isn't your business. If I would hide her from anyone, it would be you, you child loving clown." Ouch. He hated being called a clown, but he didn't want to annoy Chrollo further. He returned to his seat with a frown just as Uvogin arrived. The hulking man seemed to notice the tense atmosphere and sat between Nobunaga and Shalnark wordlessly. 

The meeting wore on with a briefing from the captain. Something about an auction raid in York New City. He paid little attention as he began to build a card tower. Hisoka suddenly felt a pair of eyes on him. It was the girl, Kira. He pretended to continue building his card tower as he monitored her. She didn't seem to notice. After Chrollo's briefing, the magician decided to tell the captain about him taking the hunter exam.

"I'm actually going to be taking the hunter exam this year~ That's fine, right? Captain~" He emphasized the last word as if teasing Chrollo. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Kira perk up. Oh? Was she interested? It seemed as though she wanted to say something, but was still deciding whether or not to say it. After a few minutes of brooding, she spoke up. It was very faint, but with how quiet the room was, he could still hear her.

"May I join him?"

Hisoka's eyes lit up with excitement for a moment, too fast for anyone to catch it. He smiled slightly. Maybe getting her as his toy would be easier than expected. Then his smile faded as he noticed her starting to curl up as if she was scared of the response. She shut her eyes tightly. Again, strange. Maybe his toy was damaged? He looked back at Chrollo, who seemed to be pondering the decision. The girl noticed his reaction and straightened herself out. After some interjections from Feitan and Machi, it was decided that she would attend the exam with him and would be in his custody until the next meeting. His eyes widened in joy and anticipation as he stared at the young girl, trying to gauge her potential in a fight. The meeting ended and the troupe went their separate ways. He got a strict warning from Feitan as he left with Kira.

"Break her and you're dead."

He chuckled at the thought. The magician began to return to the hotel he had been staying in. Finally, she was his toy for the next year and a half.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. The x Silver-Haired x Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Kira return to the hotel, and Kira falls asleep. Hisoka then learns that he might've bitten off more than he can chew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters will be to build trust between our two main characters but rest assured that the action will pick up as the story progresses to the hunter exam. ;) Also, I like to think of Kira as a Gen Z, so a lot of her humor is going to be current humor.  
> p.s. The song Hisoka sings in the end is Kyousou Requiem, his character song.  
> Enjoy!

Kira shivered in excitement at the notion of finally being on her own without constantly being monitored by Chrollo or Feitan. Now she just had to be wary of the clown. The two of them reached the hotel just as night fell. The hotel was standard, single bed, couch, mini-fridge, closet, and bathroom. Wait. Single bed? Kira looked up at Hisoka, who seemed to have been watching her since the gathering. She was still uncomfortable around him, seeing as always had a slightly malicious air to him.

"I'll take the couch." 

Her short statement broke the uncomfortable silence that had been around them when they arrived. Kira wanted to keep her conversations with the creepy man short. She decided to look more closely at him. He towered over her since he was about a foot taller than her. He was well built, she thought to herself, muscular and handsome. Damn it, Kira, get yourself together. But what was most prominent about him was that snatched waist and dump truck of an ass. God damn. She didn't even notice that she started drooling slightly.

"Like what you see?~" the man said sweetly. He looked at Kira as though she was an exotic creature he had never seen before. She didn't appreciate it one bit.

"You wish. As if I'd like a clown, tall man." Kira spat back at him. It had the opposite of her intended effect. He only seemed to be more interested. Great, she thought, I have to spend a year and a half with a creep. Even Chrollo was better than this.

"I'm going to sleep. If you keep watching me like that, I'll make sure you'll never be able to see again," she spoke as she grabbed a thin blanket from the closet. She knew Hisoka was still watching her as she lies down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. She tried to ignore his intense gaze as she drifted off to sleep...

~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hisoka POV

He continued to gaze at the young girl as she fell asleep. A flurry of questions arose in him once more. Who was she? Does she know her origins? What did she think of him? These questions were insignificant compared to the one burning question he had. 

What was her nen?

He sighed and began looking through the bag she brought with her. Can't have her doing anything with him after all, though he would like to see her try. He was surprised by the bag's contents though. It contained three tactical knives, four Ben's knives, a first aid kit, a wallet with some change and a debit card, a few changes of clothes, and a large bottle full of pills that took Hisoka a moment to read. Escitalopram. It was a jar full of antidepressants. He carefully placed the contents back in the bag and looked at Kira. His discoveries only made him more curious about her. What happened to her? He placed the bag gently next to the teen, as not to rouse her.

The magician then went to the bathroom, stripped his clothes off, and turned on the shower's hot water. Hopefully, it would take his mind off of things. As the scalding hot water coursed over his pale, well-toned body he tried to think of other things. The hunter exam was coming up, and he still needed to see how strong his new toy was. He also needed to meet with Illumi, as the raven-haired assassin had told Hisoka he had some urgent news. So much to do, so little time. he finished lathering in the conditioner and looked at his hair. He needed to dye it again. Maybe he should go with pink this time? As he dried himself and changed into his clean clothes (which consisted of a pair of pastel pink sweatpants and a purple tank top) he heard a whimper come from the bedroom. 

Somehow, Kira had sleepwalked to the bed, tucked herself in, and was now whimpering and trembling. How troublesome this new toy was. He watched in interest as she had her nightmare. Should he wake her? Meh, why should he. He left her alone as he settled on the couch to sleep. Just as he was beginning to get tired, he heard crying from the bed. Was it always going to be like this? He groaned as he got up to wake her. Just as he leaned in to shake her awake, he found a knife at his throat. Eyes wide in surprise, he swallowed dryly and noticed that Kira was still asleep. 

The magician noted that she kept weapons on her when she slept. After restraining her hands, and her knife, he lightly began to shove the young girl. She began to break out in a cold sweat. Hisoka slowly removed her jacket and found many more bags, bottles, and vial of pills, powders, and liquids in its pockets. He returned to pushing her to wake her again. As he pushed her slightly harder, she suddenly woke up with a small scream.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kira's POV

Kira had been having a dream about Feitan's torture. She had been having a recurring nightmare recently about the beginning of her times with Chrollo and Feitan, often ending with how he tortured her mercilessly for days. It always started with a blazing village, filled with the screams of its former inhabitants. She saw a younger Chrollo, who seemed to say something to someone, then it went dark. The nightmare then merged into her chair. She saw Feitan with his tools and started hyperventilating in her dream. She would cry out that she was sorry, and that she'd been bad. Then he got to work. He always did whatever he wanted. He knew he could always get Machi to patch Kira up. The nightmare filled with screams once more. Kira felt someone touch her and flinched. She was unaware that she was holding a knife to Hisoka's throat at the moment. She felt something restrain her and woke up in a cold sweat to a strange scenario.

Kira was restrained by some sort of invisible force, but a quick look with gyo explained it. "It's just Hisoka's nen." She muttered to herself. She then noticed her guardian looming over her. Did he look... concerned? No, she must've imagined it. Once he saw her calm down a bit, he released his Bungee Gum. She looked at him warily. He must've seen her having the nightmare. She had to say something.  
But just as Kira was about to speak, Hisoka left to go get something. Tch. 

She curled up on the bed, trying to become smaller somehow. How could she have shown him such a large weakness?! She shouldn't have fallen asleep. Now, he knew how much of a failure she was! She messed up. Maybe if she knocked him out he wouldn't remember? While she beat herself up about her mistake, Hisoka returned.

He seemed to have gotten something from a store. The magician handed her the plastic bag silently, then ushered her to the couch. He began to strip the bed of the sweat-drenched sheets, blankets, and pillowcases. As he was doing so, Kira looked at what was in the bag he had handed her. Inside was a quart of Aiisu brand Bourbon Vanilla Truffle ice cream, melatonin gummies, and a plastic spoon. The white-haired woman looked up at Hisoka with a silent, grateful gaze. She took her melatonin and ate some of the ice cream treat, noticing that he had finished making the bed. He told her to go take a shower with a quiet, soft tone. Kira complied.

While the warm stream of water trickled down her soft skin littered with old scars, she finally got an opportunity to clear her head. Kira gazed down at her naked body. To her, it was ugly. After all, who would ever like a used and battered person such as herself? She tried to ignore all the thoughts that told her she needed to pay for her mistake with blood. As she lathered herself with the magician's shampoo and body wash, she noticed how good it smelled. Like strawberries and sugar. Did Hisoka smell like this as well? 

"Ugh, get yourself together Kira. You shouldn't be thinking about what that clown does or doesn't smell like." 

The girl finished drying herself off and changed into her remaining set of clothes. Her outfit consisted of a simple long black dress and some thin socks. She stood just outside of the bathroom door once she was done changing. She looked nervously at the bed where Hisoka was resting. She didn't dare give herself permission to crawl in with him. He seemed to notice this, so he patted on the bed.

"Here. Lie down and go to sleep."

Kira hesitantly got in and covered herself with the fresh blanket. She was uncomfortable but didn't want to be a burden on her guardian, so she remained quiet. She noticed the magician had begun softly singing a song. The tune was so comforting it lulled her into a peaceful slumber.


End file.
